The Day I Met This Girl

It was the third day of my visit to the operational areas of my organization, and was also the day when I had a scheduled trip back to the City where I am staying for the duration of my assignment in India.

It was the day I met this girl.

Sanya (not her real name) holds a position in my organization but that day and since the day I arrived there, she had been tasked to make sure that I have my meals ready and my accommodation ventilated enough to keep me cool from the warm days of Monsoon season. Apparently, it has not rained for months in that part of Orissa despite the Monsoon season.

If I had known any better I would have thought Sanya was treating me like a VIP, so on that day when she ordered for my early lunch so I would not be hungry during my 7 hours train ride back to the city, I asked her to sit down and have the meal with me, to which she graciously agreed.

She then asked me if we also eat rice in the Philippines, and I said yes, like in India, rice is also a staple food in my country. She smiled and said “ok”. She asked me again if we also take 3 meals a day like they do and I also said yes. She asked if we also have rice and dal for lunch, to which I ignorantly replied, that I do not think we have dal in the Philippines but we do have rice all the time. She then said that rice and dal is a staple food for them and they also have it for dinner with roti. I simply asked,”everyday?” and she simply replied, “ha!” which means “yes” in Hindi or Oriya.

I asked Sanya if she has ever been outside the small town where she grew up, and she said no with a smile. She explained that her family lives there and she does not have any reason to leave her hometown. She was happy where she was and her face lit up as she smiled again.

At that point I took a moment and tried to reflect on the small talk Sanya and I shared that day. I was so overwhelmed with what I was feeling at that moment that I found myself questioning my own meandering ideals.

What is really important? To be out there seeing the world and getting a place in the sky and still feel like you have not gone anywhere so far and the insatiable thirst to be somewhere and be someone still haunt you at night? And be asked by someone like Sanya, “so how do you sleep at night?” or just be like her, happy and contented where she is, as simple as that.

As I write this I am reminded again of my favorite line in the Bible, when I used to read it for my theology classes. I came across these lines from Mathew 16 ( I do not recall which verse), “for what is a man profited if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul, or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?”

Indeed what are we willing to give up in search for the world? or to reach for the stars?

Was it her ignorance? That she was afraid to see what it is like outside her hometown?

I do not know with certainty.

One thing is for sure though, at this point in my life I envy her. I was 25 too not too long ago and I was unstoppable. I left home when I was 17 to go to college and I blew a wish into the sea as I took that boat ride out of that small island where I grew up. I wished for freedom. Free to fly like a bird, not caring where and when to stop. My wish did come true and then I was sitting across a table with someone like Sanya and I feel nothing but envy.

I wish there is a way to make amends for the mistakes you make in a lifetime but facing the truth is so much easier than taking all the time and energy running away from it.

Thanks to this girl I met, I have also found reasons to be thankful for.

RAKHI DAY

A boy proudly shows off his rakhi on Rakhi Day

24^th of August is a special day in India especially among brothers and sisters. It is a ceremonial day when brothers vow to protect their sisters and the latter would tie a “rakhi” or a bracelet to symbolize the bond between them.

It was indeed an exciting day in the villages I have visited, as every man, adult or child I have met showed me their wrists with the colorful rakhis.  One rakhi represents one sister.  It did not matter if they were blood related, for as long as they treat each other as brothers and sisters.

I asked one member of the staff of my organization if she did perform the ceremony that morning, and she told me she did not have brothers, but she and her four sisters exchanged rakhis just the same as they will protect each other anyway even if they do not have brothers to protect them.

Coming from a small town where she grew up, it must have been hard for their family to raise them, and eventually to marry all five of them should they decide to follow the norms of the society and be subjected to the traditions and cultures of the dowry system, and of the position of women in the society. 

Who am I to judge? But the fact that they have been raised to be good people of the society, loving and caring and protective of each other, I find that admirable and inspiring.

Hers is a story that should overshadow the horror stories on gender inequalities I have heard when I first arrived in India.

Being the youngest in my family with no sisters and four older brothers, I have found a new way of seeing things differently regarding my relationship with my brothers.  I do not have colorful rakhis to tie around their wrists when I get home but I would definitely say hello if only to mean I love them.